The Hidden Beliefs That Block Our Joy

On guilt, healing, and the quiet rebellion of allowing joy in your life.

I had lunch with a client and new friend this week. We spent over an hour swapping stories about the transition from homeschool to traditional school—something my family just experienced for the first time this year and that hers was about to embark on.

We talked about co-dependency and neurodivergence. Our children. Our spouses. What it means to raise wildlings in the middle of an apocalypse.

How do we navigate big life changes when anxiety and conditioning always seem to be at the wheel?

As she stood to leave, she paused—and asked me a question I’ve been sitting with ever since:

“How do you deal with the guilt of enjoying your life?”

Oof. It echoed straight into my gut.

Because in her voice, I heard my own voice—just a few chapters ago.

She became a mirror, showing me how much work I’ve done. How much work it takes just to feel okay being happy.

It shouldn’t be this hard to enjoy your life. And yet… for those of us recovering from co-dependency, people-pleasing, and lost desire—it is.

I told her the truth: She had stumbled into her next big opportunity for expansion. It's the kind of work that’s both painfully obvious and wildly inconvenient.

Because inner work? It doesn’t happen out there. It's not controlled externally.

It happens in your breath when you're triggered and choose a new reaction.

In your belly when you follow your instinct instead of second guessing yourself.

In your mindset when choose kindness and releasing shame.

It happens in the Fluid Field.

It’s not always glamorous. But it is the most potent magic I know: to find the parts of your reality that can be changed—and realize they require your input to shift. Everything changes after that.

So I’ve been sitting with her question:How do we deal with the guilt of enjoying our lives?

And I found—not the answer, but an answer.

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The Hidden Beliefs That Block Our Joy

Imagine you're lying on a blanket in a wide-open field. Wildflowers surround you. Wind rustles through tall grass. Songbirds call from the trees.

There is nothing to do but rest.

You brought a book. Or a sketchpad. Maybe just yourself.

It should feel peaceful.

But it doesn’t.

You shift. Toss. Sit up. Lay down. You can’t get comfortable.

Eventually, you lift the blanket. And underneath, you find stones varying in size from a quarter to your palm.

Each one etched with an expectation:

“Rest is earned.” “Creativity is a luxury.” “You should be doing something more productive.” “You haven’t done enough.”

At first, you nod. These are familiar voices. They’ve haunted your downtime for decades.

But as you read them again, you get curious.

Who put these here?

Why am I still listening to them?

Do I believe them?

You begin to examine each one. These are the hidden beliefs that block our joy. Then, intentionally, you rewrite them:

“Rest is essential.”

“Creativity is sacred.”

“My time is mine.”

“I’ve done enough.”

And then, one by one, you toss them.

Out of the field.

Out of your body.

But what if the problem isn’t stones?

What if the reason you can’t rest is because beneath you lie boulders—massive, ancient, immovable slabs carved with:

OPPRESSION. CAPITALISM. PATRIARCHY. RACISM. SEXISM. HOMOPHOBIA.

And what if your earthly body simply can’t lift them?

This is the density of the Fixed Field.

These boulders are not yours alone.

They were laid down generations ago.

They have been reinforced for millenia.

And they need many hands to move.

That doesn’t mean we give up.

It means we stop expecting peace to be found lying directly on top of injustice.

Maybe we don’t rest our blanket on the graveyard.

Maybe we find another patch of earth.

We make space where we can.

We clear the stones we can reach.

We soften what is ours to soften.

And we invite others to do the same.

In nearly every client call lately, I hear it again and again:

Burnout. Numbness. Lack of desire. Lack of joy. Feeling lost

.

But underneath those symptoms is something holy:

A refusal to live on autopilot. A quiet rebellion against survival for survival’s sake.

These are the ones who are ready to take their lives back into their own hands.

To stop running in circles.

To start walking the Field with intention.

That’s what Fieldwork is for. To name the boulders. To toss the stones.

To make enough space to rest your bones—and remember you belong to a cosmic tapestry of human spirit.

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Next Steps in Mapping Your Field

Ready to name your stones—and move what you can?

Fieldwork is my 6-week program designed to help you navigate the internal terrain of healing, pattern-breaking, and coming home to your own authority.

Through the Fixed, Fluid, and Fated Fields, we’ll explore how conditioning, emotion, and divine timing interact—so you can stop waiting for life to change and start co-creating with it instead.

🔗 Learn more or claim your spot at www.tonikeniston.com/fieldwork